As a woman who works a full time job, plus teaches some piano on the side, plus is raising 2 autistic kids, 1 so far normal kid, and has a bipolar husband who takes up a lot of attention, this is a terrible run on sentence, maybe I should start over.
As a busy and exhausted woman, I don't have a whole lot of time if any for how my yard looks. Once I see grass budding I do realize "well, that needs done really soon." But there are many factors that have to happen in order for the lawn to get done. 1. We both have to be home with one watching the kids. Summer has arrived officially for my kids and there is no time where one of us is out with all three kids so the other can do the lawn. 2. Weather. If it is raining you can't really mow your lawn. I do believe this is general knowledge. If it is to hot it is miserable mowing the lawn. I am the nastiest person if I am uncomfortably hot. My husband has asthma flare up either way but it seems harder to overcome in heat.
I tell you this so you know it is a huge burden to me. Something I wish I could more easily keep up with. It seems like I can't keep up with anything in my life these days. And by these days I mean since getting married to a man who is always wanting my attention.
Anyway, my neighbor stopped by a couple days ago to complain about our yard. Now we had already gotten the front yard done, so no big deal. Obviously we are working on it. He first asked to speak to my husband. I can't allow that, I know how this man sets me off. I don't need the drama that will ensue if I allow him to talk to my husband. So I ask him what its regarding and when he says "The yard" in a tone that says I clearly should have known that, I politely say "Oh, we are getting that done tomorrow."
We have lived in this house for a year and a half. Last year I had a friend mow it for me on a couple occasions because we didn't own a lawn mower yet. He complained about it multiple times last year as well. Never came to my door though. For anything. If he had said "OK" and left it at that this blog wouldn't get written. I would probably write about something more interesting. At least I hope so.
He proceeded to tell me about how its not that hard to just do it. Oh really? I explained we have young kids. He explains he had kids. And because he kept pushing he saw the angry side of me that does not come out often. He saw it last year when I was pregnant and my husband had a hernia the size of a tennis ball so neither of us could do anything about it. He should have dropped it then as well. So I got in his face and said "No! You had normal kids! It is not the same as having autistic kids. We can't have these kids out of our sight for 2 minutes with out them destroying something! I am the only one working and I have to work today. It will get done tomorrow on my day off!"
He must have just had it in his head that he was going to continue talking no matter what I said because he continued on about how its not that hard. I said "Fine! I will give you $20 to mow it yourself then if it is bothering your so much!"
With in 30 minutes he was in our back yard mowing. I personally have not seen him since but my husband has. Every time he sees my husband now he harasses him. When hubby saw Harry (the next door neighbor) he says thank you so much for mowing the lawn. Between his mental and physical problems its hard for him to get it done. Harry proceeds to tell him that he can move past his mental problems and that isn't an excuse. And he has physical problems too but still manages to mow his lawn (bull! his son does it. Thank you for playing). Mama bear in me is clawing her way out. I have refrained. To me my husband is about as helpless as my children are. Until I can get him on his meds I frankly can only pretend to have expectations of him. Everyday is a huge struggle of depression for him. Anything can set him off. Recently he has held it against me that I told him I couldn't worry about his happiness and had to focus on mine. Now what I meant by that on the deeper skill is that I have learned he can't be happy. No matter what I do/say/think, he won't be happy. It has nothing to do with me as his wife (no matter what he says), it has nothing to do with the kids, it has even little to do with being unemployed (though obviously that doesn't help at all). He is obsessed with our marriage and relationship to a point that it hurts him. And I have to live my life and raise my children. I can't be there for every whim he has. I can protect him from Harry though. This man reminds me very much of my husband's step father who beat him unconscious on more than one occasion. I don't know that he has realized that. But this is why I have to protect him from Harry. I don't know what this man's relationship with his kids are, but apparently they tell him they will do stuff and then don't do it. It has to be that because any normal person would let people prove themselves before continuing to attack when given a perfectly good answer of "OK, I will get on that soon".
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